Emerson: It's dead. And it's a bird. It's diseased.• Episode: Pigeon • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: Remember, mind over matter will make Pooh unfatter.
Emerson: I might be stucked, but I can still reach my gun
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: 9.8 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: What did you say it was, besides mysterious?
Emerson: I have not yet expressed my opinion.
Ned: Would you care to express it now?
Emerson: My opinion is you need to take a coupon for this conversation and redeem it at another date.
Ned: I want to use my coupon now.
Emerson: Redeem it tomorrow. There's somebody in the county fridge you need to talk to.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: Why are you still talking?
Emerson: I'm rippin' off the Bandaid!
Ned: I'm not a ripper, I pull up a corner a little at a time and then run it under warm water and I pull it up a little more. It's a process.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: I need to chat with Lawrence Schatz before he goes into the ground. Tomorrow.
Ned: I'm not going back to that funeral home. It's returning to the scene of a crime, that's just sloppy.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: You won't even know I'm here.
Emerson: 'Cause you're leaving?
Chuck: No.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: Lawrence Schatz wasn't murdered. He was accidentally, involuntarily manslaughtered.
Ned: I appreciate that.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: The pirate metaphor, it's weak.
Emerson: It's apt.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Emerson: Future Me is saying 'I told you so' all upside your head... but Now Me is standing here quietly.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Emerson: That was the truth bus.
Olive: That wasn't the truth buss. That was the bitchy, cross town express.
• Episode: The Fun in Funeral • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 65
